blogging.

today in my magazine article writing class we talked about blogging. apparently people who have the most people reading their blogs are those who often do reviews. which is just so random to me, but i guess it makes sense. we have to write a review for class. my plan is to post it on here just to see what will happen. who knows. maybe i'll be the next winner of a years supply of hot pockets. yum...?


i've also been reading a few other blogs recently. i realized the ones i love to read are just "days in the life of" the writer. they aren't usually anything particularly special or impressive. i've only been blogging when i have a profound thought. or i've worked on something. not that those things don't happen in my regular days. but instead of just posting when i have something super post worthy, i'm going to do it whenever. because i think those are the most fun to read. 


also. i've been thinking. this is a great way for all my concerned people to read and stay updated with my doctor stuff. because it is daunting and overwhelming to call or text like 20 people after every doctor's appointment. one day soon i'll type up what has happened over the past 3 and a half months. but for now, i'll just summarize quickly. and talk about what's coming up.

basically, i've been having trouble breathing since a few weeks before thanksgiving. i went to a bunch of doctors, urgent care, and the apu health center. i ended up having like 3 different things going on, and they gave me medicine, and sent me away. i didn't actually get better though, so i had to continue going back. on my wonderful grandma's recommendation, i found dr.brunner, the best doctor ever. every time i see him, he assures me that we will get to the bottom of this. and i totally believe him. 
after months of tests and blood work, we have learned a few important things about my body, but nothing about what is causing my breathing (and now swallowing too) problems. one good guess is vocal cord dysfunction, but that is really hard to test and be sure of. just for fun, i'm literally severely allergic to every environmental allergen with the exception of mold. and i'm intolerant to lactose, as well as allergic to wheat, soy, peanuts, and walnuts. (these aren't allergies that kill me. they just make my body retain water weight, making me swollen and puffy.)
anyway. tuesday i saw dr.brunner again. you know your life is sad when you're friends with the nurses, and they know to get excited when your pulse is in the eighties...he ordered a ton of blood, and is now testing for, among other things, a neuromuscular disorder, which is something he and my head and neck guy thought could be happening. scary, but we will see. also, i'm going to the pulmonologist next week, which will hopefully be helpful.


my closing thought....regular pancakes are wayyyyy better than gluten free ones.
and always without syrup. 

love.

tonight i worked on my valentine's day cards, in preparation for next monday. it got me thinking about love, and other mushy valentines-y things. i've been trying to figure out what love is. i think i have at least a start. 

love is getting in someone else's sleeping bag before they go to bed, just to warm it up for them.

love is sitting in an extra half hour of traffic, to bring someone left-overs you know they'll enjoy.

love is getting up at 4:45 to take someone to the airport.

love is holding hands, even when you don't want to, because you know they do.

love is patiently saying the same thing over and over again, until the other person believes you. 

love is eating dinner at the beach, even though its so windy the sand is stinging your ankles, because its a tradition.

love is giving someone a piggy back ride uphill because they don't want to walk.

love is wiping jamba off someone's face after they've had their wisdom teeth out and can't feel anything.

i'm not an expert. i mean, i'm only almost 20. but i've loved/i love a lot of people, and i think this is the beginning of being able to define love. it is way more than a few butterflies in your tummy, that is one thing i know for sure.