going away.

since i've been home from south africa/swaziland (which is a long time. about 10 months.) i've wanted to go back. and it isn't even because i had the time of my life there. i didn't. but i just felt like we were doing such great things for god's kingdom and we were so clearly focused on doing his work while we were there. it's something i miss.
god calls us to be his hands and feet, and help whoever we can when we can. and on that trip i really realized the magnitude of the people who need help and that we have the opportunity to serve if we take it.
but i've learned that it isn't just ours to take. it is ours to take in god's time. and that is something i've struggled with for months because i'm a problem fixer. i know there are people in swazi i could be helping if i were there. probably more significantly than the people i'm helping while i'm home. but that isn't what i am being called to do right now. and for a long time i couldn't figure out why. but the other day the college leader at church, chris, told me he was excited to see how god was going to grow me and my passion for him while i'm waiting to go away and do more of his work. and it made sense finally. 
god isn't punishing me by keeping me here. he is giving me the opportunity and time to develop my strengths and strengthen my weaknesses. and grow in my relationship with him while he creates me into the person he has made me to be. and when it is time for me to go away and love on his children, i will be able to do that. but for now, while i'm learning, i get to love on his children here. what a blessing that is!

and one day, i hope to be back here. to love on them and give them cookies again!

and help little ones like these get off the streets and know they were created by such an amazing god, with a specific, perfect plan for their life.